


Heathen weed

by JustAnotherFool



Category: Naruto
Genre: And the tiniest bit of hurt/comfort if you squint, Christmas Fluff, Deidara just appears briefly, Ficlet, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Really it's basically fluff, Self-Indulgent, Slice of Life, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28115976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherFool/pseuds/JustAnotherFool
Summary: Hidan refuses a kiss. It bothers Kakuzu.
Relationships: Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Heathen weed

Hidan was a physical kind of person. Kakuzu knew it. He liked cuddling on bed, kissing at any given moment and used every and all excuses he could to touch Kakuzu, be it because of a date, an undercover mission or just a pointless fight over some minor inconvenience.

The thing is Hidan liked to touch him. To hug him, to kiss him, to have their skins brushing and share their warmth even when it was already too hot. So it was unsettling when Hidan refused a kiss.

Kakuzu knew he shouldn’t think too deep about it. It was just an unexpected reaction, it’s all… But the thought just wouldn’t leave his mind.

It was almost Christmas, so all the villages were decorated with ribbons, shiny pendants, pinecones, mistletoes, snowmen. Kakuzu didn’t care all that much about the festivities, too much noise and waste, too little meaning for him. However, when he noticed the mistletoe branch hung above them, he shrugged and leaned in for a kiss.

Then Hidan frowned at him, glanced around and turned his face away. No witty remarks, no comment at all, he just kept going and pretended it didn’t happen.

It stung a bit, but Kakuzu didn’t say anything. Maybe he just wasn’t in the mood? Seemed unlikely, but possible.

* * *

When Hidan spent the rest of the day obnoxiously hugging him in public, putting an arm around his shoulder as they walked and leaning too much in his personal space, Kakuzu decided he had overthought everything. Hidan was as annoying as ever.

Still, he never tried to steal a kiss nor jumped on Kakuzu as soon as they were alone in a room. The most he’d do was a quick peck on the cheek after looking thoroughly around. It was weird, Hidan had never cared about being seen or even about public decency. Kakuzu felt something was amiss.

They had started dating “officially” months ago, and _now_ Hidan decided he wanted to be discreet? It made no sense.

(Kakuzu ignored the thought that maybe Hidan didn’t want to be seen with him. It was ridiculous, absurd… Right? Sure, he wasn’t young and bold like Hidan, but Hidan loved him like that… Didn’t he?)

* * *

When they went back to the Akatsuki Hideout, things seemed to go back to normal. They would argue over pointless things and cuddle on bed (even though there were two in their room). Still, there were no kisses.

Kakuzu didn’t think anyone would notice. Surely a bunch of wanted criminals would have better things to do than gossip about their relationship, right? Wrong.

“Oi, Hidan,” Deidara said with a mischievous grin, “Look up,” He pointed to a mistletoe he’d hung the night before. Right above Kakuzu and Hidan’s door.

The idiot wasn’t even subtle about it. Kakuzu wasn’t sure if he wanted to “help” him in some twisted way or just mess with them, but he’d bet it was the latter.

He just eyed Hidan, unsure about what to expect. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want a kiss, but he wouldn’t risk leaning in and being rejected again. Not again and not here, where everybody could see.

Hidan drew his scythe and started chasing Deidara whilst yelling about how it wasn’t funny and that he was going to sacrifice his heathen ass or something. Deidara just laughed and threw some clay spiders on his way to stall him enough and flee.

Hidan went after him, still spitting insults, and Kakuzu was left alone under the mistletoe.

* * *

Kakuzu wasn’t one to sit and ruminate over frustrations, he was one to take action and get what he wants. So when night fell and Hidan nestled against him, he slowly drew his lips to Hidan’s temple, waiting for a reaction. Hidan hummed and put an arm around him, pulling him closer.

“What’s got into you, old man? Getting all mushy on me,” He smirked, but didn’t protest. Kakuzu felt relieved.

That is, until he aimed for a peck on the lips and Hidan’s hand stopped him.

The glare Kakuzu gave him must have been obvious, because Hidan added:

“What are you all upset about now? Is it because we couldn’t go bounty hunting? Because it’s not my damn fault all bail bondsmen are off to this heathen holiday,” He crossed his arms, annoyed.

“That’s not it!” Kakuzu all but shouted, “I just want a goddamn kiss!” He admitted, hearts beating out of sync and waiting for rejection.

Then Hidan _laughed_. At his face.

“That’s it? You got all worked up over a kiss?” He was practically wheezing now, Kakuzu growled, “I mean, I know my lips are amazing, but still,” Before he could resume his mocking, Kakuzu pushed him out of bed.

Thump.

“What was it for?” Hidan complained, “Jerk,”

“Stop laughing at me,” Kakuzu said, “You were the one who withdrew out of nowhere with no explanations,” He tried to sound more annoyed than concerned. Hidan didn’t have to know how much this stupid detail affected him.

“I didn’t think you’d mind.” He shrugged, “You never seemed like you cared much about hugs, kisses and these mushy things. I thought you wouldn’t even notice if it stopped for a couple of weeks,” Kakuzu knew it was the closest to an apology he would get.

“You could at least give a warning and— Wait, why a couple of weeks?”

“Well, you know, just until this stupid holiday is over,” Hidan sat back on bed.

“All this was because you don’t like Christmas?” Now he was really annoyed. He couldn’t believe it was all over something so stupid. It was so _Hidan._

“I’m not kissing you because a fucking _heathen_ tradition tells me to!” He crossed his arms, “And people hang that damn poisonous weed _everywhere_! Even Deidara hung some to mess with me!”

Poisonous weed? Does he mean…?

“Mistletoe? You made me worry because you don’t want a mistletoe kiss?” Kakuzu put a hand over the bridge of his nose.

“Duh. What else you think would stop me from kissing your pretty face?” He winked at him as if he hadn’t made him worry all week. So infuriating.

“You could have said something then!”

“You didn’t ask!” That was the most childish argument Kakuzu ever heard, so it suited Hidan just fine, “I’m a jashinist. I don’t partake in _heathen_ traditions. Ever.”

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. At least it was all out in the open now.

* * *

After that, things got better. Hidan kept his non-kissing resolution, but Kakuzu didn’t mind it that much now that he knew the reason. He couldn’t believe he worried so much over something so stupid. He should have guessed Hidan's religion would have something to do with that…

Kakuzu didn’t expect anything when they stopped to rest under a tree and there was mistletoe there. There was mistletoe everywhere anyway, now that he thought about it (Hidan was right about this one). So it was surprising when Hidan leaned in and gave him a brief peck on the lips.

“Just so we are clear,” He said, cheeks a bit red, “I’m kissing you _despite_ the heathen weed, not because of it,”

Kakuzu realized he was wrong earlier: _that_ was the closest to an apology he would get.

“Sure,” He nodded, glad that his mask concealed his fond smile, “Does it mean I don’t have to get you a Christmas gift?”

“You talk like you’d give me anything anyway,” Hidan shrugged and rest his head on Kakuzu’s shoulder, “You old cheapskate.”

Then they enjoyed the peace and quiet. Hidan had to admit that the season was beautiful, snow falling and frozen lakes and everything. If only the heathens didn’t ruin it with this huge, impossible to ignore holiday.

Kakuzu held his hand muttering something about it being too cold. Yeah, it was a fine season anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!
> 
> So, I had this idea for a ficlet and thought "oh, seems easy and sweet. It should only take a day or two to write." Then I proceed to take fours days because I keep second guessing the wording and worrying about OOC-ness. Being a writer is so much fun. (Wouldn't give it up for anything though)
> 
> Guess it's never too early for Christmas-y feels!
> 
> 💘


End file.
